Saturday was Leap Day. Accordingly, I re-watched Leap Year with Amy Adams and Matthew Goode. Although the movie got mostly negative reviews 10 years ago, I enjoyed it the first time I watched it, and better appreciated this time around the subtle humour and comedic restraint usually missing from rom-coms.
Watching it also reminded me that I had used it as a discussion point in an old blog post from SLAM in 2013. I dug it out and am sharing it here with you this week. It’s really interesting to go back and see where you were and where you were headed. In this case, I did accomplish all of my checklist (which remains valid almost seven years later), including the new message to the universe. Nice to know.
I hope you enjoy my look back. Happy Leap Year, everyone!
Talk next week,
“Bone and Spirit Needs” (SLAM 2013)
As North Americans, we live and breathe "wants." Much more entertaining than "needs."
Needs are scary things. Needs are flags to our perceived failings, our vulnerabilities, our illusion of control. An interesting line from a romantic comedy I watched a couple of weekends ago: "I looked around and saw that I had everything I'd ever wanted--and nothing that I needed." Wants are a legitimate part of a life. But are they real? Do they really feed our souls if we achieve them? Or are they merely distractions either imposed or embraced as part of ongoing self-denial? In this exploration of self-love, I did sit down one day and made a list of my needs. Not the needs that actually come from the "shoulds" (need to drop five pounds, need to cut down on evening TV, etc.) or the needs that come from the "wants" (need to win the lottery), but the real Needs. The Bone and Spirit Needs. The ones that are scary because in order to say them, you really have to listen to yourself. Put yourself in the dead centre of your life and lift your face to the universe.
Here is my list: I need to move in. I need to stop running. I need to get the rest and sleep I really need. I need to start writing again (does this blog count?). I need a house that is not out of control. I need to enjoy my yard. I need to know if I could fall in love again. I need a home life that supports my career. When you make a list like this, the "shoulds' realign themselves and the "wants" go away. Interesting.
What also becomes clear is that all needs are within my control to supply. Yes, even the one about falling in love again. That's why I was watching a romantic comedy. I accept that at this time, I do not believe in love for me anymore. I also understand that as long as that is my buried truth, I will not attract the right man into my life (Law of Attraction 101). So, I am retraining my brain to believe in love and see it as something to embrace--not run away from. It may be a long haul, but at least I have started. And that on its own is sending a new message to the universe. As ever, Cheshire Chick